Last night I signed onto Facebook to notice that a girl, Kate had made a group for people to join because she wanted to be Prom Queen. I saw this and laughed. I knew that Prom was coming up, and I knew how much I didn’t want to deal with the Prom Queen bullshit. Cory was over and I went downstairs and told him about it. Then I get a phone call from Chelsee and we go out and hang with her for a bit.
We walked up town, and by then I was cooled down. Then we see Ryan (a McDonalds manager) drive past, then we look up at the bank and we see JessicaL and Brett standing there. Chelsee and I yell for Jessica, and when we got there it was a little awkward. But we all talked and soon things were normal. Then I get a text from Miss Misery saying that she didnt want to go to the mall and hang out and do nothing. So I called her. We talked, and she suggested seeing a movie. I dont mind it…but I wanted to hang out with my Best Friend, not be stuck in a theatre for 2 hours not talking to her and then go home. By the end of the phone call, I was irritated again. Once again we make plans and they fall through I dont know why I bother. Anyways we all start walking, while Cory and I start talking about what we are going to do Thursday. Brett and JessicaL and Scott (he came just as we were leaving) walked their separate ways and we walked to Subway. When getting to Subway Cory and Chelsee ordered and I went to the washroom. When we were all done, we sat down and they started eating. I get another text message from Miss Misery saying that I should nominate her for Prom Queen. I replied with, “No. I am nominating Danielle”. Miss Misery got upset over it, saying that since I am her Best Friend she thought that I would have her back.
You know that whole “I thought you were my Best Friend” crap is getting old. Im sorry but truthfully it is. Everytime we are in a stupid fight she always uses that against me.
Anyways Chelsee and Kiley (who joined us shortly after) and Cory all noticed me getting pist off again and asked whats up so I told them. I read the texts, and what I replied to them, and they said “Dont worry about it”. Easier said then done, you can’t just throw your feelings away. Miss Misery is always saying that I don’t understand her and I never listen and its getting old. She says she is having problems? Everyone is, and no one needs to be fighting with their friends. I feel like it doens’t matter whether or not I am there anymore because she has Neil. She just doesnt seem to need me anymore.
I stayed home from school today because I haven’t been feeling good for the past week. Plus I am emotionally and mentally weird right now. Every little thing seems to piss me off lately, and I am afraid of loosing everyone close to me, but in the same instance I am seeing things differently, or maybe I am finally growing up, or I am just opening my eyes to see what the real world and high school is really about. Not following? Neither am I. I talked to Cory last night about alot of things on my mind. And he admitted to me that I have put on some weight. I asked him to be honest, and I thanked him for being honest. Atleast someone is honest with me, I know I have put on some weight. But nothing makes sense anymore. I took the test and it said I wasn’t preg. so why does it still feel like something is different? No period, breast tenderness, random weight gain, sick? I talked to my mom this morning when I said I wasnt feeling good, and she asked if I was pregnant. Talk about close to home? Im so freaking confused, and I dont know what to think about anything anymore. Everything and everyone is changing, including myself and I am at a loss.
