guys

no punctuation. no proper spelling or grammer. no capitalization.

while sleeping over at ashley’s house with jessL i was seriously thinking. something that normally doesn’t happen too often. this type of thinking however made me really sad. i dont want my life to start.

i have on year left of school. fingers crossed that i passed everything and i choose not to come back for another semester. my prom is this year and when you think of prom you think of dates. everyone that i wanted to take to prom is either gone or being an asshole right now. thinking of dates made me think about guys.

it didnt help that this is gordons last summer here and i am more then likely never going to see him again. i did hang out with him sometime last week and i had loads of fun. but i did get the closure that i wanted and that is how he doesnt want to date. which is fine now i can look for someone else who likes me. i am not over gordon i am just over trying to get with him (in sense of a relationship).

so i began thinking because steve and jade came over to ashleys house to see jess and i and to meet ashley. however without getting into too much detail ashley wasnt having such a great night. steve is the type of guy who listens and gives his opinion. last night he definatly did but to the point where ashley was in tears. it was like something overcame steve because he usually doesnt act like that what-so-ever. which made me realize that he is just like every other guy out there.

all of them are. you think you meet a really nice guy. but you dont. you meet someone who is going to be nice at first and then just act like every other guy. i dont know if i can trust guys anymore. they have hurt my best friends over and over again. and i too have been hurt.

jessL and i were watching a movie called saved! and in the end it was a romance movie. the guy was a total hottie and extremly nice. pffttt…please. that doesnt happen in real life anymore. the guys all want one thing.

it really is too bad i am going to be alone.

atleast i will have awesome friends to be there for me.

Forgotten?

Am I forgotten and not wanted anymore by my best friend? I have just read her post and was slightly confused. I know that I haven’t really been there for the past two weeks (because I was grounded) but as soon as I could I called. On her b-day I called and wished her a good one. We talked about this summer and stuff. And in her blog never once was I mentioned for anything. I am always telling her that she is pretty and has a nice figure, infact alot of people do. But she said, her family and Kyla. I am not mad at all, just a little heart broken that she never talks about me anymore, and she is always talking about how Kyla does this and Kyla does that for her. I haven’t been able to because I was grounded then I am working alot lately. Wow, I think my heart just broke in a thousand peices.

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I got home almost an hour and a half ago from hanging out with Jess, Steve, and Justin. Man was that fun. However I must take the Ninja down! Everything started off ok, until he attacked me on his bed while Justin was listening and watching some MSI videos with Jess. Then we left his room and went outside. He stole my shoes, but with that I laughed at him because they smelled sooooo bad. So I attacked him with liquid eye shadow, but he stole it off me and attacked me hardcore. haha…in my hair, my white shirt and black jeans have pink sparkly eye shadow all over them. Then Luke stopped in to take Justin somewhere, and then Steve went inside to grab my tiara and something that Jess forgot inside. And brought out silly string and used that against me!!! He used green silly string and totally crushed me. haha.

I need to get him back. More then likely I am going to hang out with him sometime this week after exams, and I need a way to get him back. Teasing doesn’t seem to work…because I have tried, maybe this is because I don’t know how to get him since he is infact a Ninja! haha. I must get Justin aswell because he sat there laughing and watching. So he must pay for not helping me…haha. Jess helped a little, so no reason to get her.

The Ninja must be taken down!!!!

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Anyways I talked to Gordon and Kyla talked to Gordon. And he is still going on about how I am too shy. This is kind of old news. I am shy to talk to him, yes. Mostly because he told me that Lindsay(sp?) doesn’t like girls who like Gordon, and he is mostly always with her, so I don’t want to go near him. Lame…I know. If I could just get Gordon alone, to hang out with me, then I definatly wouldn’t be so shy.

Have you been reading my blog lately? I have definatly changed. My nickname is slu or schlingkay because of what has happened and the way I dress lately. Today for instance, Steve wanted a hug but he didn’t want more eye shadow on him so I took my white shirt off and just had my bathing suit bikini top on. The old Jessica would have never done that. Or now when I see Steve there is always a kiss, or Justin when we “made out” last time…haha…with Jess, Luke and Steve. The old Jess would never have kissed Jess L, or flirt with everyone…alot. I am more of showing off my body a little more, because I am finally getting over how I look. I am still kind of big in the stomach (when I sit) but oh well…I still don’t find myself attractive. But meh, I can’t be that bad if Gordon thought I was pretty (or still does), or Justin, or Steve. So I am slowly coming out of my shell, and I am definatly talking to Gordon because I really want him (some day after exams) to come over, or hang out with me or something. Just so he can see the real me outside of school. I am different inside of school then I am outside of school. (I am more crazy and fun!!!!) haha.

Anyways I think that is all she wrote today. Later peeps.

Two Weeks Ago

It has been so long ago since I have posted anything on here. I am sure all you people out there was wondering what happened to me. Ha…ya right. Here is a little up to date on what was going on for two weeks.

Cody and I are no longer dating. But you all foreseen that one coming. It also didn’t help that while dating Cody certain events happened that I would rather not discuss online. Cody and I still talk, but it is kind of weird because it still feels like we are dating because we talk about the same and we flirt like usual.

I still like Gordon and Justin. But before I think about dating or trying to get with Justin. I need some closure with Gordon. I need him to tell me…”f-off” or something. It is just something that a girl needs.

Ok, I have been grounded for two weeks and the reason is kind of funny to me, but to my parents they were fuming. Two weeks ago McDonald’s had their crew meeting and JessL had the van. After the meeting (8pm) Jess dropped everyone off and then Jess and I went to go hang out with Justin, Luke, and Steve. We really only meant to stay for like a couple hours and blame everything on traffic. Too bad that never happened. Before I go into detail I just want to say that we never got home until 2am. I never called my parents and they flipped right out. My dad called the cops, and the hospital. Crazyness…now the deets.

Basically I made out with Justin. Jess made out with everyone there! lol. Justin suggested a 5-people way thing. And everyone agreed. While Justin and I were making out, Steve and Luke were, well…sucking on Jess’s boobs…haha. lol. Then Justin gave the bright idea that him and I would make out with her while Steve and Luke worked their magic. Let’s just say…we brought her sooo high and then we all just stopped. lol. She was so mad…it was cute.

So that is what happened. Basically just grounded.

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Miss Misery if you read this…

HAPPY BIRFDAY!!!

I am going to call you when I get home, possibly I am still not “officially” ungrounded yet because my dad is a jerk-off…but ya I will try. Sorry I didn’t get you anything. Well that is because I couldn’t go anywhere. lol.

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Now back to school…I should work on SOMETHING! lol.